Single Parenthood

Last Wednesday I flew out to DC with baby for the weekend. While there I interviewed with an accounting firm and I drove down to Raleigh to visit a dear friend. On our flight back to SLC (while sitting in a window seat) baby vomited two bottles worth of smelly curdled milk all over me. I felt so bad for the two Ukrainian dudes next to me that had to get up and let us out so we could clean up (as much as possible) and then had to sit next to us all stinky for the rest of the flight.

I assumed last week's trip was the last of playing single dad for a while and it would have been had my wife not gone to the ER last night with major abdominal cramping. One ectopic pregnancy/removed fallopian tube later and I'm back to single parenting while she continues to recover at the hospital. I like baby, I really do, but I'm starting to think we're seeing too much of each other.

Final Tour Update

November 9-13 - Interview in McLean, VA and a weekend trip to Raleigh, NC to see a good friend. Baby will be accompanying me again. That should be interesting.

November 14-15 - Interview in New York City. My flight from SLC on Monday leaves 12 hours after my flight from DC gets in on Sunday.

The Last Few Trips

Highlights from the last few trips:

Palo Alto - Dinner with some great friends at The Cheesecake Factory where our burgers were not cooked in the proper manner resulting in a free meal and a $15 gift card for future use.

Irvine - An interview with a great accounting firm that ended 25 minutes before my flight was to leave. Luckily the John Wayne airport was very close to the office and I was at the airport, through security, and in my seat in 15 minutes.

McLean - Dinner at The Capital Grille Thursday night before my Friday interview. I had the bone-in Delmonico steak which was perfect. Also, the firm I interviewed with does not require receipts for expense reimbursement; instead they gave me an envelope of cash upon my departure which more than covered my expenses.

Tour Update

I am adding the following dates to the schedule:

Tuesday, October 18 - San Francisco/Palo Alto, CA

Monday, October 24 - Irvine, CA

Friday, November 4 - McLean, VA/Washington DC

Hopefully more to come.

You and Me and the Bottle Makes Three

As I interview with various firms this season, I would like to share my experiences here, but I will be somewhat vague in identifying the firm. I will instead refer to each firm as DPME, an acronym formed by combining letters from a few firm names.

Thursday morning baby and I were kidnapped from our warm beds by the airport shuttle man at 4:30 in the morning. Of course baby woke up the second I got him out of his crib and stayed awake the entire ride up to the airport and the 1.5 hours we waited for our flight, which was fun. Luckily I got him to fall asleep as we took off, and he stayed sleeping for most of the flight. But as he is wont to do, baby pooed a big poo about an hour before landing. By then he had woken up and was playing in the area beneath the seat in front of me and between my ankles. My legs created a chimney, piping airborne poop particles which proceeded to perforate my proboscis and pervade the proximity. (The on-board movie was Mr. Popper's Penguins). I was then faced with the dilemma: Is it more of a bother to the two gentlemen next to me to let me out to change him, or to sit two feet from a fresh, steaming, reeking pile of poo? As I pondered that imponderable, the seat belt sign came back on. Decision made.

So Thursday was quite busy as I sherpa-ed baby through the shuttle/airport/airplane/airport/rental car shuttle/rental car along with my backpack, carry-on, baby's diaper bag, stroller, and car seat. At least I checked the car seat. While I managed to feed and change baby throughout the day, I didn't get a chance to eat anything until dinner that night. When I got to the dinner at The Cheesecake Factory with two professionals and three other candidates, they were eating appetizers. Now I know that when you're interviewing, the meals aren't about the food, but are about opportunities to get to know the professionals and ask questions and not make a fool of yourself and such, but it's The Cheesecake Factory - How can it not be about the food? So I sat there politely taking appropriately small portions of the appetizers and bread while holding back horrible urges to bend the menu into a funnel and down everything on the table in one breath.

I was lucky enough to have great family and friends in the area that were willing to watch baby during my dinner Thursday night and during my interview on Friday. Unfortunately I was late to the breakfast portion of my interview on Friday due, in equal parts, to the Ritz-Carlton's clock being 10 minutes slow (a ploy I'm sure so that hurried patrons are more likely to use bellhops or other guest assistance), VA traffic lights lasting forever, and getting stuck in the elevator at the office (and then getting off at the wrong DPME floor and being trapped in that awkward elevator room with the glass doors that you can't get through without a swipe card).

There were some great parts of the trip though:

- Since I had the baby with me, I didn't have time for the eternal debate as to whether I should go to bed early the night before the interview, or stay up and watch trashy shows on HBO.

- The bathtub at the Ritz-Carlton was huge and the bathrobe was soft and comfortable.

- I visited the Wegmans in Fairfax, VA and it was awesome. I know it's just a grocery store, but there's something wonderful in familiarity. For Mormons it's like traveling to a city/state you've never been to and walking into a church building on a Sunday. It's a small piece of home wherever you go. That's Wegmans.

- The closet light at the Ritz-Carlton turns on when you open the door. That's convenience. (Unlike the mini-bar which automatically bills you for items upon their removal from the electrical sensors underneath.)

- Seeing family Thursday night when I dropped off/picked up baby.

- Dinner Friday night with some dear friends at the Sweetwater Tavern.

So that was trip #1. I'm supposed to do a few more before this recruiting season is over and we haven't yet decided if baby will be joining me on any others.

Theater Review - Hale Centre Theatre's My Fair Lady

Last night was the opening of Hale Centre Theatre's My Fair Lady at their beautiful theater in West Valley. My wife and I were lucky enough to get two comp tickets from a member of the cast and to have a family member willing to babysit so that we could enjoy a lovely evening.

We are regular patrons of the Hale Center Theatre in Orem, but this was our first trip up to their sister theater in West Valley. While we were impressed with the theater and its opulence, we were absolutely spellbound by the mobility of the staging in the show.

The show starts with a gazebo-type framework on a round stage, and in the course of 2.5 hours, the framework disappears into the ceiling, a professor's study appears from beneath the stage, an embassy ballroom descends from the ceiling, the entire stage rotates 360 degrees, actors appear from (and disappear into) the basement of the theater, and street lamps, plants, chandeliers, and the original gazebo framework descend from above. It is amazing what they do with the space that they have.

The show is directed well and my wife loved the costumes. (Especially the shoes). The one drawback of this type of theater is that there is no room (and probably no budget) for live musical orchestration, so the actors really need to be on top of musical cues since there is no room for vamping and no pit conductor to look to. Generally the music was good, though there were a few instances where the delivered lines were a bit behind the accompaniment, or where a chorus wasn't exactly together on a phrase. It being opening night, these types of mistakes are common and understandable; they will disappear later in the run.

As far as individual performances are concerned:

Justin Kennington in the role of Henry Higgins grew on me throughout the play. At first I wasn't sold on his professorial position or supposed command of the proper English language, but as the show progressed, I liked him more and more. He handled Henry's quick-witted and sharp verbal assaults towards Eliza very well.

Kelly DeHaan was excellent in the role of Colonel Hugh Pickering as a balancing influence to combat Henry's cynicism. When Henry was rude, standoffish, and otherwise horrible, Pickering was kind, inviting, and delightful. Pickering's accent and intonation were fun to listen to and were complemented by a number of quirky actions/motions that rounded out his character.

DeLaney Westfall was adequate in the role of Eliza Doolittle. I didn't love her singing (she hits the right notes, but her voice doesn't have much body to it), and her accents were a bit muddled. Admittedly, this is a very difficult role to play and generally she did a good job. I noticed however, three accents throughout the play: cockney, proper British, and angry. Her angry accent was a muddled mix of cockney and proper British. Unfortunately Eliza spends much of the play in an agitated, perturbed, or otherwise upset state, so the angry accent came out pretty often. I also didn't buy her anger. In other performances of My Fair Lady, I've always been able to relate to both Henry and Eliza, but in this I could only relate to Henry. Eliza, it seemed, was always too emotional, too angry, or too in love. There was no middle ground here; she was in a word, bi-polar. She went from Just You Wait to I Could Have Danced All Night in a split second.

David T. Glaittli was superb in the role of Alfred P. Doolittle. He managed to be absolutely drunk and lovable at the same time, while providing necessary comedic relief. He was quirky, funny, and memorable.

Lee Cannon was perfect in the role of Freddy Eynsford-Hill. My Fair Lady is an interesting show, as it has many great songs, but not many great male singers. While I'm sure all the male actors were accomplished singers, their roles in this show did not let them showcase that talent. After an hour and fifteen minutes of Alfred and Henry bumbling and grumbling through songs, the musical highlight of last night's show was Freddy's breathtaking performance of On The Street Where You Live. It's almost a shame that Freddy and Eliza don't end up together; they would sing beautifully together.

Other notable performances included those of Diane Dabczynski as a dignified and proper Mrs. Eynsford-Hill and Logan Bradford or Tanner Rampton (not sure which) as a Servant with excellent aim. He threw a top hat across the stage (at least 10 feet) which landed squarely on the head of a sculpted bust to end a scene, which elicited "oohs" and "aahs" from the audience.

All in all, My Fair Lady at the Hale Centre Theatre is an engaging show with beautiful music. You'll definitely be humming the score for the rest of the night... and beyond.

Fall 2011 Tour Update

As I mentioned here, we (like ESPN's College GameDay) are "coming to your city."

Our trip to Seattle was awesome and we have confirmed a trip to San Antonio on October 27-30 to see the BYU/TCU game at the "neutral" site of Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas.

Additionally, baby and I are going on a fathers and sons business trip to Washington, DC this weekend. Thanks to some generous friends and family in the area, baby will have excellent supervision while I interview with an accounting firm in McLean, VA. We'll leave on Thursday and come back on Saturday just as the BYU game is starting. It's a pretty quick turnaround for us this week, so unfortunately we will not be able to see everyone in the area we'd like to.

As luck would have it, I will be interviewing in DC at least once more this fall (and once in NYC to boot). As those trips are planned, I'll update the tour schedule.

How Ward Choirs Are Apostate

Also - since I'm in the mood to put off my First Amendment reading and post on the blog, I might as well discuss something that has been bothering me lately.

On my mission, both of my Mission Presidents (and probably all others) used to counsel us to "look to the General Authorities as examples." Examples of dress, grooming, behavior, quiet dignity, etc. While I am admittedly not a perfect follower of this counsel, I believe it is appropriate and wise.

I also think that along those sames lines, ward choirs should look to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir as an example - especially as an example of what music they should select and perform in various venues.

For example, every six months at General Conference, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performs in the Saturday AM session and in both sessions on Sunday. In these sessions they rarely perform a hymn that is not found in the hymnbook (or Children's Songbook), and often they sing an arrangement straight from that hymnbook.

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir also performs a weekly broadcast titled "Music and the Spoken Word." In this venue they perform hymns and songs of both a spiritual and secular nature. These arrangements come from classical music, Broadway musicals, gospel spirituals, Protestant hymns, traditional LDS songs, and a wide variety of other sources. While these performances are often spirited and enjoyable - they are markedly different than the songs presented at General Conference.

If a ward choir were to follow that example, they would perform (mostly) LDS hymns in Sacrament Meeting, and would save other types of music for musical firesides or other less formal occasions.

The First Presidency Preface to the hymnbook reads: "Latter-day Saints have a long tradition of choir singing. Every ward and branch in the Church should have a choir that performs regularly. We encourage choirs to use the hymnbook as their basic resource." This is not to say that a choir should never perform a work that is not found in the hymnbook, but those should be the exception and not the rule.

So basically I'm sick of hearing ward choir medleys of "I Heard Him Come"/"His Hands"/"The Prayer of the Children"/"Jesus Was No Ordinary Man"/"You're Not Alone"/"The Olive Tree"/Anything on an EFY CD/"His Image in Your Countenance"/"He Hears Me."

Let's stick to the basics, people.

Mystery Poop

The other day I was getting ready for church and I noticed a streak of something on the bathroom floor. I pointed it out to my wife and she said it was "probably nothing." Later I noticed a pile of what looked like soft caulking on another area of the floor. So I stuck my finger in it, brought it to my nose, and gagged.

The thing is - the baby had his diaper on. There is no indication that he pulled the poo out of his diaper and rubbed it on the floor. There was no poo in his diaper at all. The only possible explanation is that it was my wife's poo, though she refutes that idea.

Bathtub Poop

So today I was bathing baby today while I did some manscaping in the bathroom. I looked away from him for a split second, and when I turned back, I saw 5-6 little brown floaties in the water. This was a new situation for me. I've experienced the poop on the floor, but not the poop in the tub.

So I ponder what to do - they don't really train you for situations like this. (At least the protocol wasn't in that useless information that they send you home from the hospital with.) I ended up taking baby out of the tub and standing him up next to it. Then I scooped out the poop globules with my hands and put them in the toilet. Then I put baby back in the tub - I still had to clean him anyways - what's the point of changing the water?

So that's the story.

Fall 2011 Tour

Announcing our Fall 2011 Tour.

Seattle, WA - Aug. 11-14

Washington DC - TBD (recruiting office visits, Sept.-Oct.)

San Antonio, TX - TBD (possibly Oct. 27-30)

Omaha, NE - Nov. 23-28

Los Angeles, CA - Dec. 27-Jan. 3

Tickets are on sale now! We look forward to visiting those of you who are in these selected cities. We'll be announcing our Spring 2012 Tour by the first of the year. If you have any requests or suggestions, let us know.

Cribthumping

We used to have a routine. Baby would go to bed at 9 or 10 and we'd hear him jumping in his crib by 5 or 6 the next morning. At that time I'd go get him and bring him back to the bed where the wife would feed him and he'd fall back asleep. Earlier this week we decided to cut out the morning feeding and replace it with a bottle. That was a horrible decision.

Now he wakes up at 3 and jumps in his crib until someone goes in there. So for the last few nights I've been in there with a bottle trying to get him back to sleep. Last night (early this morning), I realized that's not the right approach - I shouldn't be feeding him that early, I should be encouraging him to go back to sleep. Additionally, we can't have him jumping in the crib at 3 in the morning - we've got neighbors who would probably like some sleep.

So I started something new - Cribthumping

I knock him down

He gets back up again

I'm never going to keep him down

(repeat for a long time)

Basically when he jumped in the crib I knocked him down and he'd cry... until he got back up again. This went on and on until the wife came in and rescued him and sent me back to bed.

My Wife's Mountain West Burrito Review

Three months ago I visited Mountain West Burrito and reviewed it here. After that post and a subsequent post, my wife really wanted to try it. Last week we finally got around to visiting it again and I will now post our experience.

Like last time, we were greeted by a super friendly owner who brought our food to our table within a few minutes of us ordering. He also brought us free chips and salsa, which was awesome. I got the regular deluxe steak burrito, my wife got the regular chicken burrito and we got a plain cheese quesadilla for baby.

Like last time, the restaurant was spotless and the food tasted really fresh. There was still something missing though in the taste, and my wife was able to put it into words. She described the beans, rice, chicken, and cheese as combining to create a delicious wrap, but that the burrito itself didn't taste like Mexican food. I have to agree. I love the way that Mountain West Burrito uses fresh ingredients to create tasty wraps - but I wouldn't say that it's good Mexican food. But I will be the first to admit that I am not an expert on Mexican food. There is a common taste between Beto's, Cafe Rio, Maria Bonita, and El Azteca (local Mexican places I enjoy), and I don't recognize that taste in food from Mountain West Burrito. Maybe if they marketed themselves as a wrap shop instead of a Mexican place, I could get behind their food a little more.

Again, I am not an expert on Mexican food, I can only compare Mountain West Burrito to other Mexican restaurants in the area. My brother lived in Mexico for two years though, so he knows a thing or two about Mexican food. So in the next few weeks (or months), I will take him to Mountain West Burrito to get his opinion. And then I'll post his impression here.

A New Development

My son just learned how to make farting noises with his mouth. This is a proud day to be a father.

Also, I am proud to announce that Rate My Singles Ward is coming this fall to ProvOrem.

Poop Eater

So I haven't posted in a while.

The other day we gave baby a bath and then placed him on the ground wrapped in his towel for a minute. By the time we got him a diaper, we found this:

No - that's not deer excrement, it's baby poo. We followed the trail of pooplets until we found baby sitting under the table, eating his own poo. Never have I been a prouder father.

Confessions of a Bad Dad - Sunburn

Forgive me Blogger, I have sinned. It's been 27 days since my last confession.

We've spent the last three days down in Ephraim, UT for the wife's work conference. There's not much to do down there - especially when the hotel's cable and internet go out due to overuse since the hotel is not often full. So to pass the time I took baby to the local playground, where we were joined by the Desperate Housewives of Sanpete County. Twelve young Mormon mommies with their kids (with names like Stockton, Miranda, and 3 Brinleys) hung out at the park with baby and me. I probably looked like a homeless bum with my beard and crazy hair, but at least I had a kid with me. Without baby I definitely would have been arrested for being a creep.

So while we were at the park, I heard one of the moms telling her kid to put on sunscreen and I had a fleeting thought that I should have put some on baby. But we were only out there a few hours and I never burn after only a few hours.

Turns out that babies are different than big people and their skin burns faster. Who knew? Now baby is very pink and mommy is mad.

Pizzeria Seven Twelve Review

Last night we finally made it to Pizzeria Seven Twelve in Orem for my wife's birthday dinner.

We started with an asparagus and egg plate ($7). It came with 8ish spears of asparagus well-seasoned and roasted with cheese and topped with an egg (sunny side up). I've seen egg and asparagus served together before, but I'd never had it. It was really good. My wife even enjoyed it and she'd been dissuading me from cooking it for weeks.

My wife ordered the pecorino, red onion, nicoise tapenade, walnuts, and mozzarella pizza ($15). It was one of the more exotic-sounding pizzas on the menu, and was very tasty. The flavors worked well together and the crunchy texture of the walnut did not distract from the experience as I feared it might.

I ordered the speck, soppressata, garlic, tomato sauce, and mozzarella pizza ($13). It was a more traditional choice and did not disappoint when it came to the flavors of the toppings. I love the thin crust that P 712 has created; the middle of the pizza is like a thick flour tortilla. The outer rim of the crust can get a bit crunchy and was burned in a few spots, but that's what happens when you cook in a brick oven and not a conveyor belt.

My only criticism of P 712 is that the toppings on the speck pizza were a little lacking in quantity. I understand that one doesn't pile up the toppings on a thin crust pizza, but I was definitely left wanting more. More speck, more soppressata, more sauce, and more cheese. It was as though the toppings were applied with a paint brush - just an even thin layer of each. Enough of each topping to whet my appetite, but not enough to satisfy it. I'd also prefer a pizza with more topping space and less crust space, which is to say that for the size of the pizza (radius = 1), the toppings were probably .75-.8 and the crust was probably .25-.2, where I prefer a smaller crust (.1-.15).

All in all we really enjoyed P 712 and will most likely return. My wife was a little hesitant to try it out, knowing that it's owned and managed by the same team that runs Communal, but we're glad we did. Pizzeria Seven Twelve definitely executes the sustainable farming/local ingredients idea much better than Communal. The food is great and reasonably priced. We paid about the same for two pizzas at P 712 as we did for one (larger) pizza in NYC at Capizzi, Lombardi's, or Grimaldi's.

Sickness

Sorry it's been a while. Nothing interesting happened, so I didn't want to bore you with the details.

Yesterday morning as I was watching the Family Guy Star Wars episodes (I'm only allowed to watch Family Guy when the wife is sleeping or gone), my kid threw up all over the wife in bed. That started a fun-filled day of trying to comfort and console a sick kid while staying out of his spray zone.

Then I went golfing with my brother and while I was gone, the baby upchucked again while the wife was holding him. I again managed to stay clean, while my wife was again showered in infant vomit.

Finally last night as we finished watching Morning Glory, my wife was preparing to feed baby and he puked on her and on himself. I remained spotless.

All in all it was a great day for me, and a not-so-awesome one for the wife. But today is a new adventure, and baby is currently hanging with me on the couch as the wife sleeps in bed, so we'll see what happens.

Needless to say we're taking baby's illness as a "Get Out of Church Free" card, so if you need us, we'll be at home watching movies in our bathrobes.

Personal Space

Baby and I are having some personal space issues. Allow me to cite two examples:

1 - Baby usually wakes up around 6 or 7 in the morning and I bring him back to the bed for breakfast. After the wife finishes feeding him, we are both too exhausted to take him back to the crib, so we allow him to sleep between us. "Between us" usually turns into "underneath me." The kid always ends up on my side of the bed, no matter where he starts. The wife says it's because I weigh more than her, so he just naturally falls into me. I think she's secretly pushing him to my side.

2 - Last night I was using the restroom (#1) with the door open (wife's pet peeve) when all of a sudden I hear baby heading my way. So I'm standing there, doing my thing, when baby crawls between my legs and lifts himself up on the lid of the toilet bowl and starts looking in. He must've been fascinated by the bubbles. Well this is a pretty awkward situation for me, as I'm coming to the end of my flow, and trying desperately not to pee all over my firstborn's head. With a few deft maneuvers, I was able to wrap things up mostly without incident. I think I may have inadvertently sprinkled him a little, but he's doing fine today. I guess I should listen to my wife and close the door. Or get a urinal.

Confessions of a Bad Dad - Sickness

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It's been 29 days since my last confession. But then again you, Blogger, were broken all day yesterday, so it's not like you're perfect either.

My baby is sick and I love it. Does that make me a horrible father?

I noticed on Wednesday that baby was sleeping for abnormally lengthy amounts of time. Then he slept through the night Wednesday night without a problem and when he woke up yesterday morning, he was warm to the touch. So I took his temperature (which is no easy feat with a baby who won't sit still - especially since I refuse to do the rectal thing - it's an 'out' hole). It was 100.8 degrees, so I called the doctor. The nurse said to bring him in (of course she did - more money for them), and the doctor said to give him fluids and let him sleep.

So he slept all day yesterday and all morning today. It's beautiful to have a baby that sleeps during the day. For a brief moment last night, I forgot that we even had a kid. How awesome is that?

He just woke up and is no longer warm. He seems to have his appetite and rambunctious demeanor back, so I guess that's the end of that. It sure was nice while it lasted...

Spicy Face

I guess this post could be titled: "Confessions of a Bad Cook," but the food turned out to be really tasty.

So we're back home and I'm back to preparing nightly dinners. We've been doing this Bountiful Baskets thing, which is awesome. Normally I wouldn't be into it because it's so MormonMommyScrapbookingOrganicMakeYouOwnLaundryDetergentGreenSmoothie-esque, but it appeals to my sense of frugality. Basically for $15 you get a ton of random fresh produce each Saturday morning. The catch is that you have to go pick it up and you never know what you're going to get.

So last Saturday we got a ton of crazy stuff, including Anaheim and jalapeño peppers. The wife and I aren't crazy about spicy things, but are somewhat adventurous and are usually willing to try new stuff. So for dinner I stuffed the Anaheims with a sausage/jalapeño/cream cheese/garlic/onion mix and used another jalapeño in a tomatillo soup. The preparation of these meals required me to cut up two jalapeño peppers, which I had never done before.

I've always heard that when you cut peppers you should avoid touching your face or eyes before washing your hands, but I always thought that advice was similar in importance to peeling onions underwater so that you don't cry. I peel and cut onions all of the time and I never cry. So naturally I can ignore the advice about preparing peppers. Right?

Wrong. I must have run my hands through my hair/face/eyes/lips/inner ear because within 20 minutes of finishing cutting the peppers, everything above my neck exploded in pain. I tried washing my hands, the knife, the cutting board, my head and neck, and nothing soothed me. I took off the clothes I was wearing and put on new ones. I opened all the windows and doors in the apartment. No relief.

The pain lasted 30-45 minutes and then subsided. Since then I have not been able to put in my contact lenses without being bombarded by searing eye pain. I cut the peppers on Monday and yesterday (Wednesday) I was blinded by pain for the first 20 minutes I had my contacts in. I even put in new contacts - no difference. The venom is in my eyeballs.

But it may have been well worth it because the stuffed Anaheim peppers and tomatillo soup were both really good.

The Last Cheesesteak

Yesterday morning we went to Campo's Deli on Market for a last cheesesteak before flying back to Utah last night. I got one with onions, peppers, and mushrooms and finally added the whiz instead of provolone. It was awesome. The whiz adds a juicy, greasy, and flavorful component that really adds to the sandwich.

We also got ice cream at the Franklin Fountain - a way cool olde ice cream shoppe with employees dressed like olde tyme soda jerks. The ice cream was a bit overpriced, but very good. If you dine in, the ice cream comes in real glasses and bowls and they don't even use plastic straws. It's quite the experience.

Both places only take cash - but there are plenty of ATMs around, so make sure you've got a great bank like Ally or USAA that reimburses random ATM charges.

Reading Terminal Market Cheesesteaks - Carmen's v. By George

We dined at the market again today for lunch and thought it would be cool to order some cheesesteaks from two different places and compare them. So we did.

By George - Referred to me by the dude at DiNic's that made my tasty Roast Pork sandwich on Wednesday. He said the By George cheesesteak is the best in the market.

Carmen's - When President Obama came to the market last fall, he ordered two cheesesteaks from Carmen's. If it's good enough for him - I should give it a shot.

We ordered a cheesesteak with onions and provolone from each location. By George takes credit card and the total came to $9.25. Carmen's only takes cash and the total was $8.15.

By George - This cheesesteak was significantly bigger than Carmen's. The roll was harder and had seeds. The steak itself was tougher than Carmen's and took longer to chew, but may have been more flavorful.

Carmen's - Though the cheesesteak was smaller than By George, it was very good. The steak was very juicy and the roll soaked up a lot of juice. The cheesesteak was easier to eat than By George and both my wife and I finished this sandwich first.

I don't know that we can declare either sandwich the winner. They were both excellent and the wife was impressed with them both. Tomorrow we'll try another at Campo's. This time we'll do it with the whiz.

Today's Food

This morning we had brunch at Sabrina's in Philadelphia. I had the blue cheese and bacon frittata and the wife had the stuffed french toast. Both dishes were excellent. We had originally planned on heading back to the Reading Terminal Market this afternoon for a late lunch of cheesesteaks (we had planned on comparing Carmen's with By George), but decided instead to visit Bobby's Burger Palace up by UPenn.

I ordered the Bobby Blue Burger with onion rings and my wife ordered the Crunch Salad with sweet potato fries. My burger was excellent - just enough crumbled blue cheese for the taste to come through without overpowering the other flavors. The onion rings and sweet potato fries were also quite tasty. My wife's salad however was pretty pathetic. We had a conversation like this:

Me: Hey, how's your salad?

Wife: Eh, it's OK. Pretty forgettable.

M: Well, that's why they don't call it Bobby's Salad Palace.

W: True, though you'd think Iron Chef Bobby Flay could put together a decent salad.

M: Touche.

My one gripe about BBP (other than the lame salad), was the service. We went around 4:00 PM so there were only about 12 people in the restaurant and it took a really long time for us to get our food. Once our food came, our sweet potato fries took another 10 minutes. A guy next to us waited even longer for his meal - and then even longer for his fries. If it was that slow on a late Thursday afternoon, I don't want to see it on a Friday night or weekday lunch. And it's not like the employees were busy - they were just standing around talking.

Mountain West Burrito Review Backlash

So a few days ago I went to Mountain West Burrito and wrote a review about my experience on my blog. I thought it was a pretty fair review and in the end I mentioned that I prefer a Beto's burrito to one at Mountain West Burrito.

Well the next day I was surprised to see that Mountain West Burrito posted a link to my review on its Facebook page. It's impressive that a restaurant will post a link to a review that doesn't completely gush about how amazing it is and how its food is the best thing since sliced bread. I think that says a lot for MWB and the people that run it.

Well evidently MWB has a very loyal fan base, because as soon as my review was posted, I read some interesting comments on my blog and below the posting on the MWB Facebook page. That's cool - I have nothing against people voicing their opinions. The comments made my wife a little mad (she's very protective of my opinions), but she knows that she can't be objective until she's tried the food. So as soon as we get back to town, we'll be heading back to Mountain West Burrito for another round.

We'll also finally get around to trying Pizzeria 712, to see if it really is better than Pizza Hut...

Flights 15 and 16

Today we flew from MBS to DTW and from DTW to PHL. These were baby's 15th and 16th flights and he did great. The Midland/Bay City/Saginaw airport is awesome to fly into or out of. It only serves two airlines (United and Delta) and accordingly only has two ticket counters, two jet bridges, and two baggage claims. It only has one security line and x-ray machine. No body scanners here. It's the way flying should be.

The flight to Detroit was short and sweet. We were at the Detroit airport long enough to switch planes and go to the bathroom before our flight to Philadelphia took off. We flew on a 737-800 and it was less than half full. It was a newer plane too, so the wife and I played In-Flight Trivia on the headrest TV displays. I beat her 2 games to 1. Baby slept pretty much the whole flight and the hardened businessmen in the seats around us were very impressed with him. They admitted to us that when they saw us board with him they were less than excited to sit near us, having experienced flying babies in the past. Our baby though was a joy to fly with.

We couldn't agree more.

Bone Daddy's BBQ Review

Today we had lunch at Bone Daddy's BBQ in Midland before heading to the quaint MBS airport to fly to Philadelphia. The restaurant was pretty highly rated on Trip Advisor and we'd heard good things from my wife's brother, so we figured we'd give it a shot.

The wife ordered the pulled pork sandwich and I got the beef brisket sandwich. Both sandwiches were well under $10 and came with a huge pile of meat and a side dish. My brisket was piled so high that I had to eat 5-6 slabs off the top with a fork before I could fit the sandwich in my mouth. The brisket was fork tender and smothered with some of the best BBQ sauce I've ever tasted. The sauce had a rich smoky flavor and had the perfect amount of spice. I've tried a lot of BBQ in my day, but the beef brisket at Bone Daddy's is by far the best I've ever had. I ordered the onion rings as my side and it came with 7-8 large battered and fried rings. I tried the wife's pork sandwich and it was also very good. I'm not a coleslaw lover, but my wife said the blue cheese coleslaw that topped her sandwich was very good.

The restaurant has a 1940's-1950's fighter pilot theme and has lots of interesting pictures and memorabilia on the walls.

This plaque was above the urinal in the men's room

The service was a little lacking, but we were there around 2:30, so they weren't in the high gear of the lunch rush, so that may have explained it. Our two meals and soft drinks ran us around $20-25 which is amazing for the amount and quality of the food we got. Next time we are/If we're ever in Midland again, we'll stop at Bone Daddy's at least once.

Cafe Zinc Review

This evening the wife and I dined with her brother and his wife at Cafe Zinc in Midland, Michigan. The Cafe Zinc is located in The H Hotel and is the #1 rated Midland restaurant on Tripadvisor.com. Between drinks (non-alcoholic), a soup or salad, entrees, and dessert, a meal at Cafe Zinc will run you $45-50 a person.

I ordered the H Salad and Steak Frites and my wife had the French Onion Soup and Bolognese. My steak was cooked to a perfect medium and served with an herb butter. The fries were good and the dish also came with a side of peas with bacon and onion. My salad was very fresh and the herb-lemon dressing was just the right amount of lemony. The wife enjoyed her soup and her ragout was very tasty (she let me try it), though a little spicy for my taste. I am a wimp when it comes to spice though.

The wait staff was very attentive and our food arrived very quickly. The ambiance was nice, though the restaurant was a bit noisy. We ordered fruit tarts and creme brulee for dessert and thoroughly enjoyed them.

So if you're ever in Midland, Michigan and you are looking for a nice place to have a semi-expensive dinner, try Cafe Zinc.

Blogs

Sometimes when I'm on blogger I like to click the "next blog" link at the top of the page to see where it will take me. Today went like this:

1. Family blog with kids named "Macade" and "Braxton." Try and tell me they aren't Mormon.

2. Asian teenage girl with a lot of angst.

3. Born-again Christian website.

4. Family blog with "4EverFamily" in the title. More Mormons.

5. Family blog of a young family that recently relocated from Rexburg, ID to Des Moines, IA so that the husband can attend podiatry school. Additional Mormons.

So based on that scientific survey, 3/5s of the blogs on blogger are Mormon family blogs. Correct conclusion?

Baby's 13th Flight

When we woke up today (very early), baby had been on 12 airplane flights in his first 9 months of life. Today were flights #13 and #14 and the first flights since baby learned to crawl. We were a little worried this morning of how he would handle a three hour flight where he couldn't move around a lot, but baby did really well. He didn't sleep at all on flight 13, which is odd for him - he'll usually sleep most of the flight. He slept through all of flight 14 though. All 50 minutes of it.

We are now in Midland, MI visiting my wife's brother and his family. We went out for ice cream tonight and on the way back to the house my wife noticed that all of the traffic lights were blinking red or yellow. Evidently after 10 PM the town switches all the traffic lights from their normal green/yellow/red function to a blinking yellow or blinking red. Crazy huh?

We'll be out of town for the next week, so look for a new ward's tempos tomorrow on the other blog.

Mountain West Burrito Review

Today I had lunch at Mountain West Burrito. It's a relatively new Mexican place in a gas station off State Street on the ProvOrem hill. It's one of those sustainable ingredients, Kangen water, free range places that prides itself in really fresh food, and then charges you extra for it.

I had the giant steak chimichanga ($14) and got a plain cheese quesadilla ($3) for baby. The food was really good and very fresh. I was super impressed with the speedy service. By the time I had ordered, filled my drink, and sat down, my meal arrived at my table. I usually don't order a chimichanga at a restaurant because I'm often wary of the freshness of the oil used to fry it. One look around Mountain West Burrito made me pretty confident that the oil was relatively fresh. The restaurant is very clean - especially for being in a gas station.

All this having been said, I still prefer Beto's to Mountain West for two reasons:

Value - At Beto's, a huge breakfast burrito and large quesadilla will set me back $5 instead of $17. Beto's doesn't take AMEX though, and Mountain West does.

Taste - The food at Mountain West tasted really fresh, but it lacked an indescribable quality that I enjoy in Mexican food. Is it possible that ingredients can be too fresh? Maybe it's something about week-old bacon, thrice-fried potatoes, or eggs and ham of questionable origin that makes Beto's burritos more tasty. I don't know exactly what it is, but the Mountain West burritos just didn't taste as good as burritos from Beto's.

I will admit though, that I'm not feeling the sickly aftershocks of a Beto's meal now, 3 hours after Mountain West. Usually a Beto's meal will leave me feeling slightly ill, but maybe that's the cost of perfection. I guess it's a choice between eating well and feeling well.

Two Nights of Peace

The last two nights have been incredibly peaceful. Now that my brother has moved next door, baby is back in his crib in his room.

Sunday night I didn't turn on the baby monitor in our room. In my sleepy stupor, I couldn't figure out why putting the power cord in the earphone jack did not recharge the battery so I could turn it on. I assumed it was broken. So at 7:20 Monday morning, when we finally heard baby crying, we got him to feed him. We'll never know how long he'd been crying or if he really made it through the night.

Last night the wife forgot to turn on the baby monitor in baby's room, so though I turned on the receiver in my room, it was futile. At 7:25 this morning we heard him crying so I went in to get him, but again, we don't know how long he had been crying or if this was the first time he'd woken up. I guess we could go next door and ask the boys there if they heard him, but I think it's better just not knowing.

I guess it's not great to have him unmonitored during his sleep. We wouldn't want something bad to happen to him, of course. But every morning he's still alive - so far so good.

Communal Review

Last night we had dinner at Communal with some friends. We'd been to Communal before and weren't overly impressed with it, but we figured we'd give it another chance.

Our reservation was for 8:00 PM but our table was still occupied when we arrived at 8:05. We were eventually seated at 8:40 with a few apologies from the wait staff. We ordered our (overpriced) meal by 8:50 and the food came to the table at 9:30. I ordered the tri-tip and mashed potatoes and the wife ordered the pork chop and cauliflower custard. The food was good, not great, and the portions were kind of small. Our total for dinner was $68.

I have a love/hate relationship with Communal. I like the idea of a non-chain local restaurant that uses sustainable ingredients and whatever, but don't feel like Communal executes that idea very well. The wait staff is kind of unfriendly and the whole atmosphere is a little pretentious. The food is pretty expensive for what you get and the menu is very small (16 items).

Cleaning Checks

We manage the apartment complex that we live in and occasionally are asked by the management to do cleaning checks and check-outs. Today was check-outs. Since the wife is at work today, I got to do check-outs, which takes practically all day.

It's interesting that some people will really do their best to clean their place, while others won't lift a finger. This was my first time doing check-outs, so I may have been too harsh or lenient, I'm not really sure.

I put baby down for his afternoon nap and took the baby monitor with me to check a few apartments. Does that make me a bad dad? I locked the door when I left, and I assumed the baby monitor would reach to the other apartments in our complex. When I came back he was still breathing. No harm done.

Now that people have moved out of their apartments, there is room for my brother to move in. So he'll be leaving us tomorrow and moving next door... which makes tonight our last supper. We're going all out. He gets to pick anything and we'll eat it or go get it.

Treats

Wife came home early from work today so that proud mothers and fathers of graduating students could park in her parking spot. Upon returning home she got busy in the kitchen making marshmallow cereal treats. This is not a completely uncommon occurrence. When I noticed that they were done, I helped myself to one. Big mistake.

Evidently she wasn't making them for me. She's taking them to work tomorrow. She was appalled that I didn't ask before taking one. Now the question is: Whose is the burden? Do I have the burden to ask her, or does she have the burden to warn me?

She says, "What? I'm supposed to tell you as I'm making them that they are not for you?"

Yes. Obviously.

MacGyver

I mentioned earlier that at times I listen to music with profane lyrics with baby in the room. Well recently my laptop speakers broke - probably God's punishment for my sinful ways.

So I turned to reruns of Law & Order and NCIS to entertain me. These shows aren't the most... pacifistic in nature, but I enjoy them nonetheless. They say the average child has witnessed 8,000 murders by the age of 12... well baby has probably already filled his quota. I thought about keeping a tally, so I could see how accurate that number (8,000) is, but then we watched Taken with Liam Neeson and I lost count in the first 5 minutes of his trip to Paris.

My brother is obsessed with MacGyver and has all the seasons on DVD. Who doesn't like MacGyver though? I mean, what's not to like? He's a dude with a mullet that goes around wreaking havoc on commies with his pocket knife and whatever else is lying around. And most episodes have him helping a "hot" girl that he usually kisses once in the episode. I say "hot" because they are attractive in the style of the 80's. Big hair, weird clothes. Not someone you'd see today and think dang.

So we've been watching MacGyver lately and baby really likes it. He especially likes the theme song. He starts dancing and bouncing up and down every time he hears it. I'm hoping some of the show's material rubs off on him so that he can be awesome someday when I give him a pocket knife.

I figure it'll be a good baptism present. The wife will want to give him something lame like scriptures, but I'll give him something that can get him out of a Federal Supermax prison.

Saliva Shower

We own a silicone pastry brush that has somehow made its way into baby's box of shame. Remember that box that we used to put baby in? He doesn't spend as much time in it as he used to, so we use it to store his belongings. By belongings I mean things he seems to enjoy that he's left his mark on. Babies leave their mark similarly to dogs, but with saliva instead of urine. So over the last few weeks, baby has collected a number of random objects in his box of shame and one of those items is a silicone pastry brush. It's technically a silicone basting brush from our turkey kit, but that's not important.

So anyways. This silicone brush looks something like this:

 

Baby likes to take the brush and put it in his mouth. He was sitting next to me on the couch playing with the brush this morning when all of a sudden my computer screen was covered in water droplets. Then a second later, a second wave of liquid hit my face, covering my glasses. Baby figured out how to use the bristles of the brush as tiny elastic catapults to fling saliva all over the place. Needless to say, the brush has made its way back to our drawer and out of the box.

Brother Poop

So my brother has been staying with us for a few weeks until his apartment opens up. He was out of the country when baby was born, so this has been his first opportunity to meet him and spend time with him. It's been fun to watch them interact. In fact, my brother has offered to watch baby a few days a week in the morning so I can work a few hours at the office.

This arrangement should work pretty well for the spring/summer, though we'll need to figure things out again in the fall when both my brother and I are taking classes again. The wife and I are pretty confident that my brother will do a good job with baby; he's taken to being an uncle quite naturally... for the most part.

There's one thing about babies that he's struggling with... poop. Now that we're feeding baby mostly solid foods, he's been pooping a few times a day and they are super nasty and smelly. My brother can barely handle it. The fact that there is poop somewhere other than inside the human body or the toilet boggles his mind.

This morning my brother was playing with baby and noticed a familiar odor. He looked down the back of baby's diaper and saw a little poo (still contained by the diaper) and flipped out. He started yelling, "There's poop! Poop! Poop in his butt crack! I see poop! Right there!" Then he started gagging and had to leave the room. From the other room he yelled, "I don't think I'm going to be able to have kids... not if they poop like that."

We'll keep working with him...

Baby's 1st Beto's

Brother and I took baby to Beto's today. If you are unfamiliar with Beto's, I pity your sad existence. Beto's is home to some of the best Mexican food in ProvOrem. Brother and I each had a breakfast burrito and baby had a quesadilla. It was awesome.

Golf Ball

Since the Masters last weekend, baby has been playing with some of my golf balls. He'll chase them around the kitchen and family room. I let him use my Titleist Pro V1s, because let's face it - I'm too scared to.

Well a few minutes ago I was going to throw one into the kitchen so he could chase it around and he moved into my throwing range and I hit him in the head.

Confessions of a Bad Dad - The Pencil

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It's been 2 days since my last confession.

My baby just ate a pencil. Five minutes ago I looked over at him and he had a pen in his mouth (or what I thought was a pen). I just grabbed it, and it's a light blue pencil. But not just any pencil - it's a "Blue Water Soluble Pencil." So when I say that my baby ate a pencil, he actually ate it. That is to say that his saliva dissolved the "lead" of this writing device, and it's now a hollow tube. There is light blue pencil "lead" swirling down his esophagus into his stomach.

Go me.

I wonder how that will turn (come) out.

The End?

I have done bookkeeping and accounting for a certain company for the last five years, both at the office and from home. For the last few years, I've worked primarily from home for a few reasons, (1) it's more convenient with school and (now) a baby, and (2) they ran out of desks at the office.

Well today I was told that they want to bring me back in. I need to do my work at the office from now on. No more going days without wearing pants. No more showering once a week. It will be quite a change to return to society.

This will dramatically change things in our life from now on so we're deciding how to proceed. There are a few options:
- Find someone to watch the baby during the day and go work at the office. That would be the end of "Stay at Home Sven."
- Quit my job of 5+ years and stay at home with the kid. Find odds and ends ways of earning money from home (random legal research projects, ratemysinglesward.com, etc.).
- Wife quits her job and stays home with the kid, and I go to work. This is probably the worst options since our current (awesome) health insurance comes from her work.
- Or we could do a mixture of the first two and I could go into the office part-time.

Of course if more people read my stupid blog, I could sell advertising and never have to work again. Wouldn't that be nice?

Diapers in the Cereal

We usually have an empty grocery bag hanging on the doorknob where we place dirty diapers. Then I take the bag out to the dumpster each day. Sometimes when we finish a box of cereal, we'll fill the empty cereal box with diapers and other odd pieces of garbage and put it by the door so that I take it to the dumpster.

The other day the wife went to the cupboard for a box of cereal and pulled out a box filled with nasty diapers and random garbage. I wonder how long that had been there.

Confessions of a Bad Dad - Indian Food

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It's been 11 days since my last confession.

Tonight we went out with some friends for Indian food (Gandhi, not Squanto). The wife and I love Indian food, so we thought maybe baby would love it too. He really enjoyed my chicken saag and wife's lamb coconut kurma. We ordered ours mild, as neither of us have a high tolerance for spicy foods.

My friend ordered the lamb vindaloo, and he ordered it hot. He didn't finish it all, so I thought I'd try it. I did; it was very hot. So I gave baby a big spoonful of it. He didn't react at first, but after a few seconds he made a weird face and started screaming. I fed him some rice and water to help make the burning go away. Then more vindaloo.

Turkey

I love turkey. It's definitely underrated as far as a protein source. We eat it once a year and that's not enough. So last night we had some friends over for dinner and we cooked a turkey and ate it. The best part about a turkey dinner is carving the bird and picking off all the little meat pieces with your hands as you cut the big pieces for everyone else. By the time I sat down to dinner, I was already full.

Magleby's Review

Tonight we went to Magleby's in Provo for dinner. In the past we've really enjoyed Magleby's, but tonight was not impressive. We didn't get there until 8:30 or so and we were seated right away, but it took 25-30 minutes for our food to arrive once we ordered. That's a long time in a nearly empty restaurant. Furthermore, my bacon cheeseburger was medium well instead of medium and disappointingly small.

We used to love Magleby's when it was located in the Riverwoods. They had a great menu and the food always came promptly and tasted great. The menu at the new location in the Marriott Courtyard is much smaller and lacks a few of Doc's signature dishes.

Before going to the restaurant we tried to look up some information on their website (www.maglebys.com), but had trouble navigating it. It's horrible. Not only are there 10+ obvious typos on the main page, but there are a number of dead links and missing information. We couldn't even find a phone number for the Provo location. The text of the site refers to a "Locations Page" that unfortunately does not exist.

I looked up the web designer in charge of the site, and probably would have emailed him had his contact information been readily available, but it wasn't. I could either follow him on Twitter or be his friend on Facebook, neither of which I was interested in. I understand how a web guy can make grammatical errors. I have been known to make a few in my day. But this guy is in charge of the company's entire online presence. Talk about first impressions.

I know Magleby's prides itself in its local Provo recipes and homemade dishes, but the website doesn't need to look like it was written by a someone with a Utah high school education...

Stouffer's Thrift Store

We love the Stouffer's Thrift Store in Springville. They sell Nestle, Stouffer's, Buitoni, Lean Cuisine, Hot Pockets, and some other brands. You can get a family size Stouffer's lasagna for $6 and a super large 6 pound lasagna for $9. They also sell Nestle candy bars for $0.39. All of the food is safe to eat, but it's unacceptable for sale because it didn't pass quality control. Also, if the packaging is damaged, it's 20% off.

The Stouffer's/Nestle Thrift Store is at 1055 N. 1750 W. in Springville, Utah.

Hours:

Tuesday - Friday: 9 am - 5 pm
Saturday: 9 am - 4:30 pm
Closed Sunday & Monday

In the past they only took cash, but now they accept Visa & Mastercard

Mardi Gras Beads v. Necklace

When we were in New Orleans last year we acquired some Mardi Gras beads that we brought back with us. Lately the wife has been giving the beads to baby for him to play with, but she refers to them as his "necklace."

I have obvious issues with this situation. I consider myself a relatively manly man (especially now that I'm sporting a beard), and I'd like for my son to be the same. I thought that maybe if I explained to baby the significance of the beads (and what they can be exchanged for during Mardi Gras), it might rectify the situation - but wife isn't crazy about that idea. Can't imagine why.

So she'll continue to call them a necklace and I'll keep calling them the man beads.

Infanticide (Again)

I know it's wrong to kill your children (though one could make the "I-brought-you-into-this-world-I-can-take-you-out" argument), but DANG last night sucked.

My wife went to bed around 10 last night, but I stayed up till midnight finishing some work and watching Raiders of the Lost Ark. Indiana Jones never gets old. So around 3:45, baby started screaming and I turned on the white noise. He's sleeping in a Pack-n-Play in our room since my brother is in his room. He'd quiet down a little bit, and then if either of us moved in bed, even the slightest, he'd freak out.

At 5:00 he was still crying and my iPod broke. It just stopped playing the noise. The kid's incessant crying outlasted Steve Jobs. From 5 to 5:30 the silence of the night was often interrupted by baby's wailing. At 5:30, the wife decided that the 6 am rule could be broken, and she brought him to bed and fed him.

A few hours later, I am up and working. Not a great night for sleep.

New Car

My brother recently returned from a mission trip to Mexico and he's staying with us for a few weeks until his apartment opens up. He recently found a job as a bilingual customer service rep for a local company. He drove out here a few weeks ago with a new (to him) car that he bought back east. It's a bronze 2009 Toyota Matrix and it's really cool.

At least once a week, the wife complains to me about how lame our car is, and how we need to get a new one (even though the one we have works fine). Her current favorite is the Toyota Matrix, so when my brother was looking at cars, we suggested it to him. Now it sits in our apartment complex parking lot, teasing my wife - A symbol of her unattained desires.

My brother will be dating again, now that he's home, and I've given him suggestions on how to properly outfit his vehicle for maximum dating utility:
- The driver-side door compartment should be stocked with all manner of breath fresheners (mints, gum, tic tacs, Binaca, etc.) that can be grabbed and used discreetly. Also a small bottle of cologne/after shave (NOT too strong).
- The passenger-side door compartment should be stocked with things that a lady friend might ask for: gum, Kleenex, napkins, bottle of water, etc.
- The visor CD-holder should be stocked with a variety of music: top 40 hits, Michael Buble, Disney songs (learn the words), jazz/swing/dancing music (never underestimate the possibility of a spontaneous car-side dance), classical music (to give the air of sophistication), romantic love songs, and maybe an audio book (in order to appear well "read"). This music can also be loaded on an iPod for use with the car's aux port. Be sure to offer her the choice of music.
- The back seat should contain one (and only one) warm blanket. Large enough to keep both parties warm, but small enough so that they will need to huddle close together under it. It should also contain an extra jacket/sweater/hoodie (large, clean, and good-smelling). All girls look cute in a huge sweater/hoodie.
- The trunk should contain constellation maps (for stargazing), a flashlight, granola bars, IBC root beer (or other bottled soft drink), folding camping chairs, a croquet set, a Frisbee, one (and only one) umbrella, a beach towel and a roll of paper towels.

If he follows my advice, he can't go wrong.

The Doctor

Took baby to the doctor yesterday for his 9 month check-up. Baby freaked out when the doctor looked in his ears. Doctor warned me about the need to baby-proof the apartment now that baby can crawl. He told me to be careful of stairs, power outlets, low cabinets, and power cords. I had a hard time keeping a straight face when he mentioned power cords. If he only knew...

Confessions of a Bad Dad - The Bed

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It's been 1 day since my last confession.

As I've mentioned before, we do not get baby out of bed until 6 in the morning for his breakfast feeding. Then he usually falls asleep between us in bed, and wakes up anytime between 8 and 10. By then the wife is at work and I'm usually out on the couch doing work, so neither of us are aware of the exact moment he wakes up. Usually he'll make some noise that I'll hear, and I'll go in and get him. Recently though, he's found a new way to get my attention. He rolls/crawls/jumps off the bed, hits the floor, and starts screaming.

This happened last weekend and again this morning. He seems to be alright again - all of his limbs are functioning, there are no visible bruises, and only one scratch.

Maybe we should figure out a better system.

Confessions of a Bad Dad - Rock Band

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It's been 7 days since my last confession.

My brother is staying with us for a month or so until he can get into his apartment. He's been out of the country for two years, so today I had the opportunity to introduce him to Rock Band.

He played bass and I played guitar and sang. Needless to say, I didn't have a spare eye or hand to keep on baby. At the end of our 5 song set, I found him crawling around the kitchen. He was much too quiet so I stuck my hand in his mouth and pulled out a rock. I have no idea where it came from.

At this point my parents would make a corny joke about the baby just wanting to rock while my brother and I were rocking Rock Band.

Yogurt

What's up with the recent perversion of frozen yogurt?

It used to be in a few really good flavors, and no more expensive than ice cream. (TCBY).

Now you've got two options:

- Go to one of the trendy yogurt shops that took awesome yogurt and made it tasteless. Then they sell it plain and charge you extra if you want to add any fruits or toppings to give it back its flavor. (Red Mango).

- Go to one of the variety yogurt shops where they have 12-18 different flavors of crappy yogurt coming out of 4-6 soft serve machines. You can add as many toppings as you want and they price it by the ounce. You take a cup, add a little of two flavors (because what's the point in just getting one?), put it on the scale, and BOOM - $5.99. The cup alone costs you $0.89. (Yogurtland).

Names

Often Mormon parents give their kids weird names. Yesterday in church a guy spoke who said he named his daughter Taylie.

Or Tayley. Or maybe Tayleigh. Or Tayleee. This is Utah so it could be Tailee. Is that like a person that goes to a tailor to get his clothes altered? A Tailee?

Confessions of a Bad Uncle

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It's been 26 days since my last confession.

I love being an uncle. My wife has like 12 siblings, and a bunch of them have kids, so when we got married, I gained instant "uncle" status.

Being an uncle is great because you get to hang out and have fun with kids without having any responsibility over them. You can teach them fun/dangerous games and say crazy things, and you're not the one that has to deal with the results at the end of the day.

The other day I taught one of my nephews the phrase, "Go poop on yourself." He then repeated it over and over again to his siblings. It was hilarious. I can't wait to see what happens when he says it to his mom or dad.

Sleep

So this morning baby woke up crying at 4:24 am. Wife says that we no longer go in to his room once he's down, so we both get to hear him cry for a while. Then in between his cries, we hear another baby crying. Baby #2 lives in the room above our baby, and is freaking out. We wonder if our baby woke him up, or if baby #2 woke ours up. The world may never know - it's basically a chicken and the egg scenario.

As I've mentioned, we live in an apartment complex, so I am not 100% comfortable letting our child "cry it out" in the middle of the night. For this reason we have started playing white noise really loudly in baby's room when he's crying himself to sleep. We're hoping this white noise will drown out baby's cries so our neighbors will only be able to hear really loud nothingness. The iPod we use for the white noise only has sleep timer settings of 15, 30, and 60 minutes. I chose 60 minutes two nights ago and was scolded for doing so. This morning I chose 30 minutes and started the white noise around 5:10 am once it was pretty evident that baby was going to be crying for a while.

We've established 6 am as baby's earliest allowable wake up time. Basically I am not allowed to go get him and bring him in for breakfast until 6 am at the earliest. I thought though, that if he was still crying at 5:40 when the sleep timer shut down the white noise, that we could make an exception and bring him in a few minutes early (since by then he'd been crying for 1.5 hours). Wife said no - not a moment before 6.

So 5:40 comes, the white noise stops, the baby keeps crying, and I start counting the minutes. If the baby makes one peep after 6 am, I'm home free - I can bring him in, wife will feed him, and I can escape to the couch where I'll start my workday. Then baby will inevitably fall asleep in my spot on the bed and wife can get a few more hours of sleep until she has to leave for work.

5:45 comes: still crying.
5:50: intermittent sobs.
5:57: a couple random noises.
5:59: a strange gurgling sound.
6 am: silence.

The punk kid fell asleep in the dwindling seconds before his liberation. He was so close to freedom, and he could not pull it out. I guess he doesn't care that much, since he's sleeping again, but still - it's kind of annoying.

Overheard at Kohl's

Wednesday night the wife realized that she hadn't packed anything green for St. Patrick's day. So like any normal family, we headed out to Kohl's at 10 PM to buy green clothes.

As I waited outside the fitting room, I overheard the following conversation:

Woman: I have no idea how any of these look, so I'm going to need your honest opinions.
Man: Great
W: How about this one? I don't usually wear cap sleeves because I think my arms look fat. Do my arms look fat?
M: Not fat...
W: But what?
M: You've got these weird bumps on them.
W: Why would you say that? (She walks away)
M (under his breath): F***

Later

W: How about this one?
M: You look like strawberry shortcake.
W: It's orange.
M (under his breath): F***

Foods to Eat

I realized today that I blogged about Saturday's lunch, but none of our meals since. I apologize profusely.

Saturday night we had dinner at Pike Place Chowder in Pacific Place. We got the chowder sampler and captain's platter. It was great, though we both felt a little ill after dinner.

Sunday we took the ferry over to Bainbridge Island and hat lunch at Nola's cafe. The food was excellent. Wife had the pecan caramel french toast and I had an open-faced crab melt.

Sunday night we walked over a few blocks to Wild Ginger. Wife had some beef curry dish and I had the mandarin chicken. We both enjoyed the meal (which is saying something because wife doesn't generally like Asian food). We got some cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory for dessert.

Tonight we're going to Pink Door. Tomorrow we're having lunch at the Space Needle and dinner at the Crab Pot.

Another Pet Peeve

I hate when hymns in church are sung too slowly. I hate it so much that I could write a whole blog about it. So I started a new blog where I can do just that.

ldswardtempos.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Musical Beds

When we travel with baby, we have him sleep in a PeaPod travel bed. It's comfortable and folds up easily into small size that we can put in a carry-on bag.

He usually sleeps well in the travel bed, or "tent" as we call it. Lately though, he's been waking up many times in the night (he's teething), so we're grateful if we can get him to sleep anywhere - even if it's in the bed between us. Neither of us enjoy that arrangement though - it gets a little cramped.

The hotel room here in Seattle has two double beds in it. When baby wakes up screaming in his tent, I bring him back to our bed. Once he's fallen asleep, wife and I get up out of the bed (leaving him in the middle), and go to the other bed. If baby wakes up again, I bring him over to our new bed, wait for him to fall asleep, and then we move back to the other bed. Repeat as needed.

Hard Rock Cafe - Seattle

We are in Seattle for wife's work conference and just had lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe here. Wife and I like the HRC, and have been to a few different ones (10ish) since we've been married - but this is the first time we've been since baby was born.

3 Reasons the HRC rocks:
- The music is loud. Loud enough so that the people around us can't hear baby squealing, screaming, or crying. Loud enough so that I can sing along without people hearing. Not so loud that I can't converse with wife... if I have to.
- The music is awesome. I recognize enough of the songs for it to be enjoyable, and am unfamiliar with enough for me to still feel like I'm enjoying a somewhat foreign experience and having my horizons expanded.
- We never wait for a table. We're "all access" members which means that we are automatically placed at the front of any lunch or dinner line. We also get 10% back on all merchandise and meals we purchase.

That is all. I'll continue to post Seattle observations this week.

Infanticide - Blood

So as I've mentioned, baby hasn't been sleeping well lately, which means that no one has been sleeping well. Doctor tells us just to let him cry and he'll learn, but that's hard to do in an apartment complex with thin walls.

So last night after waking up with him (and putting him back down) three times, I was pretty annoyed when he started crying a few hours later. I got him and brought him out to the family room, thinking maybe I could get him to fall asleep on the couch.

As we're sitting on the couch, he starts playing with my face. He sticks his finger up my nose and with his razor-sharp fingernail he pierces the lining of my nostril and my nose starts gushing blood. True story - This kid is crazy. I stick some tissues up my nose, and get him to fall asleep until 6 AM when I can take him to mother for breakfast.

Now I get to pick dried bloody boogers all day.

Weekend Update

I guess I neglected to post over the weekend. My bad.

The wife was sick and stayed home from work on Friday, so we basically had a three day weekend, which was awesome. The highlights of the weekend included (in no particular order):

- Finishing season 4 of Mad Men: Betty Draper has gone crazy and I feel bad for Henry Francis. Also, Sally is turning into her mom, and we both really like Lane Pryce.
- Arby's Friday night. When one of us is sick, that person gets to pick meals - so at my wife's request I picked up Arby's on Friday. Gotta love a good Beef 'N Cheddar.
- The wife watching a lot of Parenthood: Alex is a stand up guy. Haddie's parents should really stop freaking out about him.
- Catching up on Community: "Troy and Abed in the Morning" is the best part of this show. Jeff Winger really bugs.
- Making Cara's Tomato Basil Soup and realizing that they don't sell V8 in single cans at the grocery store - so I had to buy a big jug of it and double the recipe. That makes a lot of soup... and uses an alarmingly unhealthy amount of butter. But it's so good.
- Cleaning baby's jumper and onesie in the sink, after he pooped in both (on separate occasions).
- "Accidentally" sleeping in and missing a 7 AM priesthood meeting. Hate it when that happens.
- Making a flan for break-the-fast on Sunday.
- Watching BYU trounce Wyoming in basketball.

Snoring

My wife says that I snore. I don't think that I do. Yesterday we were at Wal-Mart, and she insisted that we buy Breathe Right nasal strips. You know, the stuff that football players wear? So I caved, and we bought a box. So last night she made me wear one to bed. But evidently I stuck it on the wrong part of my nose, so I had to put on another. I figured if I had to wear the strips, I might as well complete the ensemble and put some black markings beneath my eyes so I could have some super cool football dreams. So I did, but no such luck - I dreamt about numbers.

Well in the morning, I could barely get the strips off and when I did, my nose was covered with a nasty sticky residue. Since I've started this stay-at-home thing, I've dropped my bathing frequency from once every 1-2 days, to once a week. You know, to save energy... I'm totally green like that. Well luckily today is shower day, and I was able to get the residue (and black marker) off my face. I don't think I could go on wearing these everyday... by the time I get to my next weekly shower, I'd have a collection of lint, hairs, dirt and other oddities on my sticky nose.

Sticking these strips to my nose reminded me of those Biore Pore Perfect Strips. Remember the commercial? "It's like a forest of blackheads!" Seems as though someone could figure out a way to combine those two products into one. Then football players and (allegedly) snoring men, could simultaneously care for their t-zones. Just a thought.

3 Diapers in 15 Minutes

The title pretty much says it all.

1- I went out to lunch today with some friends and when we returned to the apartment it was time to feed baby. So before I put him in the Bumbo for lunch, I decided to change his diaper since it had been a couple hours, and I could tell he'd peed. So I change his diaper, and I begin to feed him.

2 - Halfway through his cup of Gerber Banana Surprise, he starts grunting and squishing up his face and kicking his legs out, and I know what's going on. I check the diaper and sure enough... poop. Not a lot, but it's there. So I wait a few minutes (to make sure he's done), and take him back to his room and change him.

3 - So we're back to the Bumbo having the remainder of his lunch, when he starts grunting again. Apparently he wasn't finished before. So I check again... more poop. Lots more poop. We finish lunch and I change him... again.

Now he's in the jumper, and I'm working on the couch. If he poops again, I'm going to strip him naked and stick him in (not on) the toilet. I'll leave the seat down, so he has something to hold on to.

Root Beer

A&W is good root beer. Mug is good root beer. Barq's is not good root beer. Though I generally drink Diet Coke, my wife prefers root beer and cringes when a restaurant tells us that they have Coke products. I'll never understand why Coca-Cola decided to bring Barq's into its lineup of soft drinks. That is all.

Water

Water fixes everything. Over the last 3 days we have pumped 7+ gallons of water into the air with our humidifier and everyone is breathing a lot better. Of course all our windows are constantly steamed up so that we can't look through them. Our neighbors probably wonder what's going on in here...

Sickness

So baby is sick. He's been coughing a lot the last week, but I assumed he was faking because his coughs sound so ridiculous. Turns out he wasn't faking, and has a cold. His voice gets all raspy when he's sick and he has a smoker's cough. Also, if I'm not fast enough with a tissue, his runny nose will run down to his mouth and he'll end up eating his snot.

Somehow he still is acting very happy and cute. He doesn't let the sickness bother him at all.

Nasty

So yesterday I went out to lunch with a friend and by the end of the lunch hour, baby had pooped. So I took him to the bathroom and changed him on the baby changing table and I assumed we were done with poop for the day.

Well, I was wrong. After dinner last night, wife noticed a familiar odor coming from baby in his Bumbo. We removed him from his seat and saw this:

Notice the discoloration in the otherwise white onesie. That's poop juice. Also, notice the huge bulge at the left. That is also poop. It's so plentiful it's BULGING out from the diaper and underneath the onesie. Nasty.

Confessions of a Bad Dad - The Box

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It's been five days since my last confession.

Now don't get me wrong, I love baby. He's awesome. From the moment we found out that wife was pregnant, I was convinced that we'd have a boy, and we did, and I couldn't be happier. But sometimes... Sometimes, I just need to get away from him, just for a little while, for the sake of my sanity and his safety.

So I need a place to put him where he'll be happy and where he can't get into trouble, hurt himself, or destroy anything. I've used the crib before, but he doesn't stay happy there for very long. So then I tried the jumper we have:

 

He'll jump in that for a while and then half the time he'll start screaming, half the time he'll fall asleep. Those odds aren't a problem when I just need to set him down for a few minutes, but when nature calls (and I mean really calls), I need a place I can put him where I know he'll be happy for at least 15-20 minutes. I also used to use the Bumbo, but we all know that the Bumbo is no longer an option (especially after he squirmed out of it yesterday and spilled a pitcher of sticky Great Value no-sugar fruit punch all over the table, chairs, floor, and garbage can).

Well I found a new place yesterday:
It's awesome. I can put the empty box anywhere, and set him in it with a few toys, and he's happy forever. And I don't have to worry about him getting into trouble... because he's in a box. What can possibly go wrong with a baby in a box? I mean some people live in boxes, right?

Besides, I read all of the warning labels on the box and not a single one mentions anything about putting a child in the empty box.