Future Careers

Baby is obsessed with stealing my laptop power cord and trying to stick it in his mouth. I've decided that he'll either grow up to be a computer programmer, or a convicted felon executed in the electric chair. Or maybe both?

Baby Food

So today while I was feeding the baby yellow squash, I got to thinking about baby food. It's just like normal human food, but smaller, right? I mean my wife loves rice cereal still, and will eat it any chance she gets.

Now that seems pretty weird to me, but I guess I can't make fun of her too much when I myself enjoy a good meat stick now and then. Seriously - I often find these jars in my Christmas stockings.

So if the wife enjoys rice cereal, and I enjoy meat sticks... how bad can yellow squash be?

Really bad.

It's like eating thick yellow water. It barely tastes like anything, but what little something there is, is no good. I guess this kid doesn't know any better. No wonder they don't let us feed him chocolate or BBQ for a while, he'd never eat vegetables again.

Also, in the time it took me to write this post, baby pulled the power cord out of my wife's laptop and put it in his mouth again. He's screaming and he stinks. Is it possible that electric stimulation might trigger defecation? Perhaps a scientific study is in my future.

Confessions of a Bad Dad - Electrocution

Forgive me Blogger for I have sinned. It's been two days since my last confession.

To borrow a line from the great Jerry Seinfeld - Electrocute is "another word that's kind of strange when you break it down. Electro-cute. What's cute about it?"

Nothing, trust me.

The other day wife and I were in our usual positions - sitting on the couch, watching TV, using our laptops. Baby was playing on the floor and pulled the laptop power cord from my wife's computer. We didn't notice that he was playing with it until he started screaming. Turns out if you put the metal tip in your mouth, you get electrocuted. He screamed for a while, and finally calmed down.

Well, being the awesome father that I am, I felt it was important to determine the extent of my son's pain and injury in the most scientific way possible.

I licked it.

Now licking just the outside of the metal tip isn't enough. In order to successfully electrocute yourself, you need to get some of your tongue up into the hollow of the tip so that you are touching both contacts with your mouth at the same time.

It hurts.

The AC adapter turns the 120 volt current from the wall into a mere 19 volts by the time it reaches your computer (or mouth), so it doesn't hurt as bad as licking into wall outlet would (if that were possible). Imagine the feeling you get from licking both poles of a 9 volt battery (you know you've tried it). It's like that times two, plus one. Luckily the pain subsides rather quickly, so both baby and I are OK.