You and Me and the Bottle Makes Three

As I interview with various firms this season, I would like to share my experiences here, but I will be somewhat vague in identifying the firm. I will instead refer to each firm as DPME, an acronym formed by combining letters from a few firm names.

Thursday morning baby and I were kidnapped from our warm beds by the airport shuttle man at 4:30 in the morning. Of course baby woke up the second I got him out of his crib and stayed awake the entire ride up to the airport and the 1.5 hours we waited for our flight, which was fun. Luckily I got him to fall asleep as we took off, and he stayed sleeping for most of the flight. But as he is wont to do, baby pooed a big poo about an hour before landing. By then he had woken up and was playing in the area beneath the seat in front of me and between my ankles. My legs created a chimney, piping airborne poop particles which proceeded to perforate my proboscis and pervade the proximity. (The on-board movie was Mr. Popper's Penguins). I was then faced with the dilemma: Is it more of a bother to the two gentlemen next to me to let me out to change him, or to sit two feet from a fresh, steaming, reeking pile of poo? As I pondered that imponderable, the seat belt sign came back on. Decision made.

So Thursday was quite busy as I sherpa-ed baby through the shuttle/airport/airplane/airport/rental car shuttle/rental car along with my backpack, carry-on, baby's diaper bag, stroller, and car seat. At least I checked the car seat. While I managed to feed and change baby throughout the day, I didn't get a chance to eat anything until dinner that night. When I got to the dinner at The Cheesecake Factory with two professionals and three other candidates, they were eating appetizers. Now I know that when you're interviewing, the meals aren't about the food, but are about opportunities to get to know the professionals and ask questions and not make a fool of yourself and such, but it's The Cheesecake Factory - How can it not be about the food? So I sat there politely taking appropriately small portions of the appetizers and bread while holding back horrible urges to bend the menu into a funnel and down everything on the table in one breath.

I was lucky enough to have great family and friends in the area that were willing to watch baby during my dinner Thursday night and during my interview on Friday. Unfortunately I was late to the breakfast portion of my interview on Friday due, in equal parts, to the Ritz-Carlton's clock being 10 minutes slow (a ploy I'm sure so that hurried patrons are more likely to use bellhops or other guest assistance), VA traffic lights lasting forever, and getting stuck in the elevator at the office (and then getting off at the wrong DPME floor and being trapped in that awkward elevator room with the glass doors that you can't get through without a swipe card).

There were some great parts of the trip though:

- Since I had the baby with me, I didn't have time for the eternal debate as to whether I should go to bed early the night before the interview, or stay up and watch trashy shows on HBO.

- The bathtub at the Ritz-Carlton was huge and the bathrobe was soft and comfortable.

- I visited the Wegmans in Fairfax, VA and it was awesome. I know it's just a grocery store, but there's something wonderful in familiarity. For Mormons it's like traveling to a city/state you've never been to and walking into a church building on a Sunday. It's a small piece of home wherever you go. That's Wegmans.

- The closet light at the Ritz-Carlton turns on when you open the door. That's convenience. (Unlike the mini-bar which automatically bills you for items upon their removal from the electrical sensors underneath.)

- Seeing family Thursday night when I dropped off/picked up baby.

- Dinner Friday night with some dear friends at the Sweetwater Tavern.

So that was trip #1. I'm supposed to do a few more before this recruiting season is over and we haven't yet decided if baby will be joining me on any others.

MacGyver

I mentioned earlier that at times I listen to music with profane lyrics with baby in the room. Well recently my laptop speakers broke - probably God's punishment for my sinful ways.

So I turned to reruns of Law & Order and NCIS to entertain me. These shows aren't the most... pacifistic in nature, but I enjoy them nonetheless. They say the average child has witnessed 8,000 murders by the age of 12... well baby has probably already filled his quota. I thought about keeping a tally, so I could see how accurate that number (8,000) is, but then we watched Taken with Liam Neeson and I lost count in the first 5 minutes of his trip to Paris.

My brother is obsessed with MacGyver and has all the seasons on DVD. Who doesn't like MacGyver though? I mean, what's not to like? He's a dude with a mullet that goes around wreaking havoc on commies with his pocket knife and whatever else is lying around. And most episodes have him helping a "hot" girl that he usually kisses once in the episode. I say "hot" because they are attractive in the style of the 80's. Big hair, weird clothes. Not someone you'd see today and think dang.

So we've been watching MacGyver lately and baby really likes it. He especially likes the theme song. He starts dancing and bouncing up and down every time he hears it. I'm hoping some of the show's material rubs off on him so that he can be awesome someday when I give him a pocket knife.

I figure it'll be a good baptism present. The wife will want to give him something lame like scriptures, but I'll give him something that can get him out of a Federal Supermax prison.