Tuesday, September 27, 2011

How Ward Choirs Are Apostate

Also - since I'm in the mood to put off my First Amendment reading and post on the blog, I might as well discuss something that has been bothering me lately.

On my mission, both of my Mission Presidents (and probably all others) used to counsel us to "look to the General Authorities as examples." Examples of dress, grooming, behavior, quiet dignity, etc. While I am admittedly not a perfect follower of this counsel, I believe it is appropriate and wise.

I also think that along those sames lines, ward choirs should look to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir as an example - especially as an example of what music they should select and perform in various venues.

For example, every six months at General Conference, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performs in the Saturday AM session and in both sessions on Sunday. In these sessions they rarely perform a hymn that is not found in the hymnbook (or Children's Songbook), and often they sing an arrangement straight from that hymnbook.

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir also performs a weekly broadcast titled "Music and the Spoken Word." In this venue they perform hymns and songs of both a spiritual and secular nature. These arrangements come from classical music, Broadway musicals, gospel spirituals, Protestant hymns, traditional LDS songs, and a wide variety of other sources. While these performances are often spirited and enjoyable - they are markedly different than the songs presented at General Conference.

If a ward choir were to follow that example, they would perform (mostly) LDS hymns in Sacrament Meeting, and would save other types of music for musical firesides or other less formal occasions.

The First Presidency Preface to the hymnbook reads: "Latter-day Saints have a long tradition of choir singing. Every ward and branch in the Church should have a choir that performs regularly. We encourage choirs to use the hymnbook as their basic resource." This is not to say that a choir should never perform a work that is not found in the hymnbook, but those should be the exception and not the rule.

So basically I'm sick of hearing ward choir medleys of "I Heard Him Come"/"His Hands"/"The Prayer of the Children"/"Jesus Was No Ordinary Man"/"You're Not Alone"/"The Olive Tree"/Anything on an EFY CD/"His Image in Your Countenance"/"He Hears Me."

Let's stick to the basics, people.

Mystery Poop

The other day I was getting ready for church and I noticed a streak of something on the bathroom floor. I pointed it out to my wife and she said it was "probably nothing." Later I noticed a pile of what looked like soft caulking on another area of the floor. So I stuck my finger in it, brought it to my nose, and gagged.

The thing is - the baby had his diaper on. There is no indication that he pulled the poo out of his diaper and rubbed it on the floor. There was no poo in his diaper at all. The only possible explanation is that it was my wife's poo, though she refutes that idea.