Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It's been 7 days since my last confession.
My brother is staying with us for a month or so until he can get into his apartment. He's been out of the country for two years, so today I had the opportunity to introduce him to Rock Band.
He played bass and I played guitar and sang. Needless to say, I didn't have a spare eye or hand to keep on baby. At the end of our 5 song set, I found him crawling around the kitchen. He was much too quiet so I stuck my hand in his mouth and pulled out a rock. I have no idea where it came from.
At this point my parents would make a corny joke about the baby just wanting to rock while my brother and I were rocking Rock Band.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Yogurt
What's up with the recent perversion of frozen yogurt?
It used to be in a few really good flavors, and no more expensive than ice cream. (TCBY).
Now you've got two options:
- Go to one of the trendy yogurt shops that took awesome yogurt and made it tasteless. Then they sell it plain and charge you extra if you want to add any fruits or toppings to give it back its flavor. (Red Mango).
- Go to one of the variety yogurt shops where they have 12-18 different flavors of crappy yogurt coming out of 4-6 soft serve machines. You can add as many toppings as you want and they price it by the ounce. You take a cup, add a little of two flavors (because what's the point in just getting one?), put it on the scale, and BOOM - $5.99. The cup alone costs you $0.89. (Yogurtland).
It used to be in a few really good flavors, and no more expensive than ice cream. (TCBY).
Now you've got two options:
- Go to one of the trendy yogurt shops that took awesome yogurt and made it tasteless. Then they sell it plain and charge you extra if you want to add any fruits or toppings to give it back its flavor. (Red Mango).
- Go to one of the variety yogurt shops where they have 12-18 different flavors of crappy yogurt coming out of 4-6 soft serve machines. You can add as many toppings as you want and they price it by the ounce. You take a cup, add a little of two flavors (because what's the point in just getting one?), put it on the scale, and BOOM - $5.99. The cup alone costs you $0.89. (Yogurtland).
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Confessions of a Bad Uncle
Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It's been 26 days since my last confession.
I love being an uncle. My wife has like 12 siblings, and a bunch of them have kids, so when we got married, I gained instant "uncle" status.
Being an uncle is great because you get to hang out and have fun with kids without having any responsibility over them. You can teach them fun/dangerous games and say crazy things, and you're not the one that has to deal with the results at the end of the day.
The other day I taught one of my nephews the phrase, "Go poop on yourself." He then repeated it over and over again to his siblings. It was hilarious. I can't wait to see what happens when he says it to his mom or dad.
I love being an uncle. My wife has like 12 siblings, and a bunch of them have kids, so when we got married, I gained instant "uncle" status.
Being an uncle is great because you get to hang out and have fun with kids without having any responsibility over them. You can teach them fun/dangerous games and say crazy things, and you're not the one that has to deal with the results at the end of the day.
The other day I taught one of my nephews the phrase, "Go poop on yourself." He then repeated it over and over again to his siblings. It was hilarious. I can't wait to see what happens when he says it to his mom or dad.
Sleep
So this morning baby woke up crying at 4:24 am. Wife says that we no longer go in to his room once he's down, so we both get to hear him cry for a while. Then in between his cries, we hear another baby crying. Baby #2 lives in the room above our baby, and is freaking out. We wonder if our baby woke him up, or if baby #2 woke ours up. The world may never know - it's basically a chicken and the egg scenario.
As I've mentioned, we live in an apartment complex, so I am not 100% comfortable letting our child "cry it out" in the middle of the night. For this reason we have started playing white noise really loudly in baby's room when he's crying himself to sleep. We're hoping this white noise will drown out baby's cries so our neighbors will only be able to hear really loud nothingness. The iPod we use for the white noise only has sleep timer settings of 15, 30, and 60 minutes. I chose 60 minutes two nights ago and was scolded for doing so. This morning I chose 30 minutes and started the white noise around 5:10 am once it was pretty evident that baby was going to be crying for a while.
We've established 6 am as baby's earliest allowable wake up time. Basically I am not allowed to go get him and bring him in for breakfast until 6 am at the earliest. I thought though, that if he was still crying at 5:40 when the sleep timer shut down the white noise, that we could make an exception and bring him in a few minutes early (since by then he'd been crying for 1.5 hours). Wife said no - not a moment before 6.
So 5:40 comes, the white noise stops, the baby keeps crying, and I start counting the minutes. If the baby makes one peep after 6 am, I'm home free - I can bring him in, wife will feed him, and I can escape to the couch where I'll start my workday. Then baby will inevitably fall asleep in my spot on the bed and wife can get a few more hours of sleep until she has to leave for work.
5:45 comes: still crying.
5:50: intermittent sobs.
5:57: a couple random noises.
5:59: a strange gurgling sound.
6 am: silence.
The punk kid fell asleep in the dwindling seconds before his liberation. He was so close to freedom, and he could not pull it out. I guess he doesn't care that much, since he's sleeping again, but still - it's kind of annoying.
As I've mentioned, we live in an apartment complex, so I am not 100% comfortable letting our child "cry it out" in the middle of the night. For this reason we have started playing white noise really loudly in baby's room when he's crying himself to sleep. We're hoping this white noise will drown out baby's cries so our neighbors will only be able to hear really loud nothingness. The iPod we use for the white noise only has sleep timer settings of 15, 30, and 60 minutes. I chose 60 minutes two nights ago and was scolded for doing so. This morning I chose 30 minutes and started the white noise around 5:10 am once it was pretty evident that baby was going to be crying for a while.
We've established 6 am as baby's earliest allowable wake up time. Basically I am not allowed to go get him and bring him in for breakfast until 6 am at the earliest. I thought though, that if he was still crying at 5:40 when the sleep timer shut down the white noise, that we could make an exception and bring him in a few minutes early (since by then he'd been crying for 1.5 hours). Wife said no - not a moment before 6.
So 5:40 comes, the white noise stops, the baby keeps crying, and I start counting the minutes. If the baby makes one peep after 6 am, I'm home free - I can bring him in, wife will feed him, and I can escape to the couch where I'll start my workday. Then baby will inevitably fall asleep in my spot on the bed and wife can get a few more hours of sleep until she has to leave for work.
5:45 comes: still crying.
5:50: intermittent sobs.
5:57: a couple random noises.
5:59: a strange gurgling sound.
6 am: silence.
The punk kid fell asleep in the dwindling seconds before his liberation. He was so close to freedom, and he could not pull it out. I guess he doesn't care that much, since he's sleeping again, but still - it's kind of annoying.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Overheard at Kohl's
Wednesday night the wife realized that she hadn't packed anything green for St. Patrick's day. So like any normal family, we headed out to Kohl's at 10 PM to buy green clothes.
As I waited outside the fitting room, I overheard the following conversation:
Woman: I have no idea how any of these look, so I'm going to need your honest opinions.
Man: Great
W: How about this one? I don't usually wear cap sleeves because I think my arms look fat. Do my arms look fat?
M: Not fat...
W: But what?
M: You've got these weird bumps on them.
W: Why would you say that? (She walks away)
M (under his breath): F***
Later
W: How about this one?
M: You look like strawberry shortcake.
W: It's orange.
M (under his breath): F***
As I waited outside the fitting room, I overheard the following conversation:
Woman: I have no idea how any of these look, so I'm going to need your honest opinions.
Man: Great
W: How about this one? I don't usually wear cap sleeves because I think my arms look fat. Do my arms look fat?
M: Not fat...
W: But what?
M: You've got these weird bumps on them.
W: Why would you say that? (She walks away)
M (under his breath): F***
Later
W: How about this one?
M: You look like strawberry shortcake.
W: It's orange.
M (under his breath): F***
Monday, March 14, 2011
Foods to Eat
I realized today that I blogged about Saturday's lunch, but none of our meals since. I apologize profusely.
Saturday night we had dinner at Pike Place Chowder in Pacific Place. We got the chowder sampler and captain's platter. It was great, though we both felt a little ill after dinner.
Sunday we took the ferry over to Bainbridge Island and hat lunch at Nola's cafe. The food was excellent. Wife had the pecan caramel french toast and I had an open-faced crab melt.
Sunday night we walked over a few blocks to Wild Ginger. Wife had some beef curry dish and I had the mandarin chicken. We both enjoyed the meal (which is saying something because wife doesn't generally like Asian food). We got some cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory for dessert.
Tonight we're going to Pink Door. Tomorrow we're having lunch at the Space Needle and dinner at the Crab Pot.
Saturday night we had dinner at Pike Place Chowder in Pacific Place. We got the chowder sampler and captain's platter. It was great, though we both felt a little ill after dinner.
Sunday we took the ferry over to Bainbridge Island and hat lunch at Nola's cafe. The food was excellent. Wife had the pecan caramel french toast and I had an open-faced crab melt.
Sunday night we walked over a few blocks to Wild Ginger. Wife had some beef curry dish and I had the mandarin chicken. We both enjoyed the meal (which is saying something because wife doesn't generally like Asian food). We got some cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory for dessert.
Tonight we're going to Pink Door. Tomorrow we're having lunch at the Space Needle and dinner at the Crab Pot.
Another Pet Peeve
I hate when hymns in church are sung too slowly. I hate it so much that I could write a whole blog about it. So I started a new blog where I can do just that.
ldswardtempos.blogspot.com
Enjoy!
ldswardtempos.blogspot.com
Enjoy!
Musical Beds
When we travel with baby, we have him sleep in a PeaPod travel bed. It's comfortable and folds up easily into small size that we can put in a carry-on bag.
He usually sleeps well in the travel bed, or "tent" as we call it. Lately though, he's been waking up many times in the night (he's teething), so we're grateful if we can get him to sleep anywhere - even if it's in the bed between us. Neither of us enjoy that arrangement though - it gets a little cramped.
The hotel room here in Seattle has two double beds in it. When baby wakes up screaming in his tent, I bring him back to our bed. Once he's fallen asleep, wife and I get up out of the bed (leaving him in the middle), and go to the other bed. If baby wakes up again, I bring him over to our new bed, wait for him to fall asleep, and then we move back to the other bed. Repeat as needed.
He usually sleeps well in the travel bed, or "tent" as we call it. Lately though, he's been waking up many times in the night (he's teething), so we're grateful if we can get him to sleep anywhere - even if it's in the bed between us. Neither of us enjoy that arrangement though - it gets a little cramped.The hotel room here in Seattle has two double beds in it. When baby wakes up screaming in his tent, I bring him back to our bed. Once he's fallen asleep, wife and I get up out of the bed (leaving him in the middle), and go to the other bed. If baby wakes up again, I bring him over to our new bed, wait for him to fall asleep, and then we move back to the other bed. Repeat as needed.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Hard Rock Cafe - Seattle
We are in Seattle for wife's work conference and just had lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe here. Wife and I like the HRC, and have been to a few different ones (10ish) since we've been married - but this is the first time we've been since baby was born.
3 Reasons the HRC rocks:
- The music is loud. Loud enough so that the people around us can't hear baby squealing, screaming, or crying. Loud enough so that I can sing along without people hearing. Not so loud that I can't converse with wife... if I have to.
- The music is awesome. I recognize enough of the songs for it to be enjoyable, and am unfamiliar with enough for me to still feel like I'm enjoying a somewhat foreign experience and having my horizons expanded.
- We never wait for a table. We're "all access" members which means that we are automatically placed at the front of any lunch or dinner line. We also get 10% back on all merchandise and meals we purchase.
That is all. I'll continue to post Seattle observations this week.
3 Reasons the HRC rocks:
- The music is loud. Loud enough so that the people around us can't hear baby squealing, screaming, or crying. Loud enough so that I can sing along without people hearing. Not so loud that I can't converse with wife... if I have to.
- The music is awesome. I recognize enough of the songs for it to be enjoyable, and am unfamiliar with enough for me to still feel like I'm enjoying a somewhat foreign experience and having my horizons expanded.
- We never wait for a table. We're "all access" members which means that we are automatically placed at the front of any lunch or dinner line. We also get 10% back on all merchandise and meals we purchase.
That is all. I'll continue to post Seattle observations this week.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Infanticide - Blood
So as I've mentioned, baby hasn't been sleeping well lately, which means that no one has been sleeping well. Doctor tells us just to let him cry and he'll learn, but that's hard to do in an apartment complex with thin walls.
So last night after waking up with him (and putting him back down) three times, I was pretty annoyed when he started crying a few hours later. I got him and brought him out to the family room, thinking maybe I could get him to fall asleep on the couch.
As we're sitting on the couch, he starts playing with my face. He sticks his finger up my nose and with his razor-sharp fingernail he pierces the lining of my nostril and my nose starts gushing blood. True story - This kid is crazy. I stick some tissues up my nose, and get him to fall asleep until 6 AM when I can take him to mother for breakfast.
Now I get to pick dried bloody boogers all day.
So last night after waking up with him (and putting him back down) three times, I was pretty annoyed when he started crying a few hours later. I got him and brought him out to the family room, thinking maybe I could get him to fall asleep on the couch.
As we're sitting on the couch, he starts playing with my face. He sticks his finger up my nose and with his razor-sharp fingernail he pierces the lining of my nostril and my nose starts gushing blood. True story - This kid is crazy. I stick some tissues up my nose, and get him to fall asleep until 6 AM when I can take him to mother for breakfast.
Now I get to pick dried bloody boogers all day.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Weekend Update
I guess I neglected to post over the weekend. My bad.
The wife was sick and stayed home from work on Friday, so we basically had a three day weekend, which was awesome. The highlights of the weekend included (in no particular order):
- Finishing season 4 of Mad Men: Betty Draper has gone crazy and I feel bad for Henry Francis. Also, Sally is turning into her mom, and we both really like Lane Pryce.
- Arby's Friday night. When one of us is sick, that person gets to pick meals - so at my wife's request I picked up Arby's on Friday. Gotta love a good Beef 'N Cheddar.
- The wife watching a lot of Parenthood: Alex is a stand up guy. Haddie's parents should really stop freaking out about him.
- Catching up on Community: "Troy and Abed in the Morning" is the best part of this show. Jeff Winger really bugs.
- Making Cara's Tomato Basil Soup and realizing that they don't sell V8 in single cans at the grocery store - so I had to buy a big jug of it and double the recipe. That makes a lot of soup... and uses an alarmingly unhealthy amount of butter. But it's so good.
- Cleaning baby's jumper and onesie in the sink, after he pooped in both (on separate occasions).
- "Accidentally" sleeping in and missing a 7 AM priesthood meeting. Hate it when that happens.
- Making a flan for break-the-fast on Sunday.
- Watching BYU trounce Wyoming in basketball.
The wife was sick and stayed home from work on Friday, so we basically had a three day weekend, which was awesome. The highlights of the weekend included (in no particular order):
- Finishing season 4 of Mad Men: Betty Draper has gone crazy and I feel bad for Henry Francis. Also, Sally is turning into her mom, and we both really like Lane Pryce.
- Arby's Friday night. When one of us is sick, that person gets to pick meals - so at my wife's request I picked up Arby's on Friday. Gotta love a good Beef 'N Cheddar.
- The wife watching a lot of Parenthood: Alex is a stand up guy. Haddie's parents should really stop freaking out about him.
- Catching up on Community: "Troy and Abed in the Morning" is the best part of this show. Jeff Winger really bugs.
- Making Cara's Tomato Basil Soup and realizing that they don't sell V8 in single cans at the grocery store - so I had to buy a big jug of it and double the recipe. That makes a lot of soup... and uses an alarmingly unhealthy amount of butter. But it's so good.
- Cleaning baby's jumper and onesie in the sink, after he pooped in both (on separate occasions).
- "Accidentally" sleeping in and missing a 7 AM priesthood meeting. Hate it when that happens.
- Making a flan for break-the-fast on Sunday.
- Watching BYU trounce Wyoming in basketball.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Snoring
My wife says that I snore. I don't think that I do. Yesterday we were at Wal-Mart, and she insisted that we buy Breathe Right nasal strips. You know, the stuff that football players wear? So I caved, and we bought a box. So last night she made me wear one to bed. But evidently I stuck it on the wrong part of my nose, so I had to put on another. I figured if I had to wear the strips, I might as well complete the ensemble and put some black markings beneath my eyes so I could have some super cool football dreams. So I did, but no such luck - I dreamt about numbers.
Well in the morning, I could barely get the strips off and when I did, my nose was covered with a nasty sticky residue. Since I've started this stay-at-home thing, I've dropped my bathing frequency from once every 1-2 days, to once a week. You know, to save energy... I'm totally green like that. Well luckily today is shower day, and I was able to get the residue (and black marker) off my face. I don't think I could go on wearing these everyday... by the time I get to my next weekly shower, I'd have a collection of lint, hairs, dirt and other oddities on my sticky nose.
Sticking these strips to my nose reminded me of those Biore Pore Perfect Strips. Remember the commercial? "It's like a forest of blackheads!" Seems as though someone could figure out a way to combine those two products into one. Then football players and (allegedly) snoring men, could simultaneously care for their t-zones. Just a thought.
Well in the morning, I could barely get the strips off and when I did, my nose was covered with a nasty sticky residue. Since I've started this stay-at-home thing, I've dropped my bathing frequency from once every 1-2 days, to once a week. You know, to save energy... I'm totally green like that. Well luckily today is shower day, and I was able to get the residue (and black marker) off my face. I don't think I could go on wearing these everyday... by the time I get to my next weekly shower, I'd have a collection of lint, hairs, dirt and other oddities on my sticky nose.
Sticking these strips to my nose reminded me of those Biore Pore Perfect Strips. Remember the commercial? "It's like a forest of blackheads!" Seems as though someone could figure out a way to combine those two products into one. Then football players and (allegedly) snoring men, could simultaneously care for their t-zones. Just a thought.
3 Diapers in 15 Minutes
The title pretty much says it all.
1- I went out to lunch today with some friends and when we returned to the apartment it was time to feed baby. So before I put him in the Bumbo for lunch, I decided to change his diaper since it had been a couple hours, and I could tell he'd peed. So I change his diaper, and I begin to feed him.
2 - Halfway through his cup of Gerber Banana Surprise, he starts grunting and squishing up his face and kicking his legs out, and I know what's going on. I check the diaper and sure enough... poop. Not a lot, but it's there. So I wait a few minutes (to make sure he's done), and take him back to his room and change him.
3 - So we're back to the Bumbo having the remainder of his lunch, when he starts grunting again. Apparently he wasn't finished before. So I check again... more poop. Lots more poop. We finish lunch and I change him... again.
Now he's in the jumper, and I'm working on the couch. If he poops again, I'm going to strip him naked and stick him in (not on) the toilet. I'll leave the seat down, so he has something to hold on to.
1- I went out to lunch today with some friends and when we returned to the apartment it was time to feed baby. So before I put him in the Bumbo for lunch, I decided to change his diaper since it had been a couple hours, and I could tell he'd peed. So I change his diaper, and I begin to feed him.
2 - Halfway through his cup of Gerber Banana Surprise, he starts grunting and squishing up his face and kicking his legs out, and I know what's going on. I check the diaper and sure enough... poop. Not a lot, but it's there. So I wait a few minutes (to make sure he's done), and take him back to his room and change him.
3 - So we're back to the Bumbo having the remainder of his lunch, when he starts grunting again. Apparently he wasn't finished before. So I check again... more poop. Lots more poop. We finish lunch and I change him... again.
Now he's in the jumper, and I'm working on the couch. If he poops again, I'm going to strip him naked and stick him in (not on) the toilet. I'll leave the seat down, so he has something to hold on to.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Root Beer
A&W is good root beer. Mug is good root beer. Barq's is not good root beer. Though I generally drink Diet Coke, my wife prefers root beer and cringes when a restaurant tells us that they have Coke products. I'll never understand why Coca-Cola decided to bring Barq's into its lineup of soft drinks. That is all.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Water
Water fixes everything. Over the last 3 days we have pumped 7+ gallons of water into the air with our humidifier and everyone is breathing a lot better. Of course all our windows are constantly steamed up so that we can't look through them. Our neighbors probably wonder what's going on in here...
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